User:989onan/Things 989onan Isnt Allowed To do

This article is satire, it doesn't represent reality and is designed to provide humor or entertainment.

Things 989onan isn't allowed to do, due to the horrible situations it can create

1. Attaching random uncategorized components to "See what happens"
2. Show you a thing that "Crashes the game" (Trust me it's cool)
3. Show you something "Absolutely horrid"
4. Explain flux to someone who just started Resonite
5. Test a beta mod in a public session
6. Introduce new users without supervision
7. Show anything to do with "Nuking" without explaining how and what
8. To integrate an Avali to his mind without anyone else knowing. (Last time that happened the Avali was stuck in there for 15 days)
9. Anything involving "A lot of flux"
10. He is not allowed to Delete root
    1. No not even if we're trying to crash the session
11. When he has an idea involving anything on this list, run.
12. 989onan is not allowed to remake Thundaga for Resonite
    1. The performance is not worth it just don't
    2. Even if "It will make new players play the game more"
    3. Even if "I can make it better than ever before"
13. Anything to do with, "I have an extremely stupid idea"
14. Anything to do with allowing "Jane" to introduce themselves to a new user
15. Anything requiring him to "Kick someone" using full body
16. To make anything using "ref hacking"
17. Don't allow 989onan to test a new tool a new weapon a new world ANYTHING
18. Don't let 989onan use their hugging system on a full body user (They almost always fall over)
19. Do not let 989onan explain GregTech to anyone. Unless you're ready for a 4 hour rant.
20. 989onan is not allowed to send anyone or anything to the moon
    1. no not even Avalis. Even though theyre space birds
21. 989onan is no longer allowed to use "The Fork" after saying "This code is A**, session terminated" and proceeding to eat some Flux Frooxius was working on, delaying the splittening by a week.
22. 989onan is not allowed access to capture pods. The last time he had access to these he ran around sessions trying to engage in "Battles" and would try to throw pods with Senator Armstrong videos in them that murdered everyone in their vicinity, including 989onan himself.
23. 989onan is no longer allowed to host "Resonite code battle sessions". One of the contestants made a reality collapser that escaped the session by hitching a ride on someone's avatar. Panic for 14 days.
24. 989onan is not allowed to ask ChatGPT for "help with flux" the AI made a diagram for code when ran would break the data model and asset queues. How this was even achieved is anyone's guess, and we're all glad that this knowledge was lost.
25. Nobody is to say, "Yes Rico, kaboom" in 989onan's vicinity. The last time this happened, 200 nukes all at once. It took 15 minutes till framerate returned to normal.
26. 989onan is not to say, "Quick, the British are here, everyone scatter!" after a developer has loaded in fully. (While loading is okay because it's funny watching new users scramble around for no reason)
27. 989onan is not allowed to say, "Hey Alexa, play fart sounds" on global voice mode in sessions anymore.
    1. or any variation thereof
28. Nobody is to hand 989onan a player that is an Avali and offer it as a sacrifice. They are never seen again after this.
29. 989onan is no longer allowed to point at users and say, "10 thousand helicopters, eat this man!" Because it apparently has a 1 in 100 chance of working. This is usually followed by a slide show as a result in a dip of FPS, 10 thousand helicopters appearing, and the user disappearing. How this is even possible doesn't make any sense, 989onan is a strange magical being.
30. 989onan is not allowed access to pens. Somehow they managed to cover every avaliable surface in marker on a small map one time. They even got it behind bookshelves and under the sheets. Like seriously how? We were only gone for like 30 minutes!
31. 989onan is not allowed to prompt any AI model via in game means. I didn't know an AI could depict such things and I now need bleach for my eyes.
32. Do not let unsuspecting creatures with thighs considered "bigger than normal" near 989onan when they are at critical levels of sleepy. Their hug seems to prevent users from shutting off the game by any means, even unplugging the computer. Seriously how strong is his magic?!?! It's a video game like actually how? Said users are forced to stay in 989onan's arms while he sleeps, anywhere from 6 to 10 hours. This is usually accompanied by muttering noises, some words like "fluffy" and "bean" can be heard.